Who wrote the Bible? It was a big question inside my head as soon as I woke in the 9th of September 2009. When I opened my eyes, this question was still very clear and I couldn’t understand if it was a dream or a vision but I got a feeling that it was more in vision. When I got up, I immediately opened my Bible and I got the answer; the people who were inspired by God and the Holy Spirit, and who live with Him everyday wrote the Old Testament. The main character in the book is God, who judges and punishes those who do wrong, leads and help his people, and shapes their history. This was written to record the story of people’s faith and to help keep it alive. While in the New Testament it is written by the church leaders, helping people to work out how their faiths affects everyday living and their hopes for the future. I then browsed in the internet, thinking that I might find more information but the answer is the same. After few days, I posted this question in the dream central site and many have commented that gave me additional knowledge. One person commented “your dream was a very wise one and your message was very important”. In this site I also posted my dreams about heat wave, heavy rain, strong flood, earthquakes, draught, hunger/famine, pests, sickness and war. In one of the disaster’s topic, one person told me to open my bible and look for Job 33:15. I then opened my bible and read it “At night when men are asleep, God speaks in dreams and visions” then I read the next few verses and I felt it would be better to read from the beginning of the chapter until I finished the whole chapter. While I was reading, I felt that this is my life when I got ill and I recalled the chain of tragedies. After reading, I was sure that this is a very important message and I wanted to share to the world. I thanked God for guiding me, and I believe, He is preparing me to answer whatever question will come about my books. This is how this question “who wrote the bible” becomes the beginning of this preface.
Job 33:13-33, “Why do you accuse God of never answering a man’s complaints? God speaks again and again; no one pays attention to what He says”. At night when men are asleep, God speaks in dreams and visions”. He makes them listens to what he says and they are frightened at His warnings. God speaks to make them stop from sinning and to save them from becoming proud. He will not let them destroyed: he saves them from death itself. God corrects a man by sending sickness and filling his body with pain. The sick man loses his appetite, and even the finest food looks revolting. His body wastes away to nothing; you can see all his bones; he is about to go to the world of the dead. Perhaps an angel may come to his aid, one of God’s thousands of angels, who remained men of his duty. In mercy the angel will say, “Release him! He is not to go down to the world of the dead”. His body will grow and strong again. When he prays, God will answer him; he will worship God with joy; God will set things right for him again. He will say in public, “I have sinned. I have not done right, but God spared me. He kept me from going to the world of the dead, and I am still alive. God does this again and again; he saves a person’s life, and gives him the joy of living. Now Job, listen to what I am saying; be quite and let me speak. But if you have something to say, let me hear it. I would gladly admit you are in the right. But if not, be quite and listen to me, and I will teach you how to be wise”.
As far as I can remember, back to when I was in my very young years, we were so happy having a big family. There was abundance as we had hectares and hectares of plantation of corn, rice, root crops, fruits trees and different kinds of vegetables that my parents delivered and sold to the neighbouring towns and the next island. We had poultry and our cattle were so many that we even hired someone to look after them. We then moved to a big house and in that year, we were so lucky that we had a great harvest. Sadly that abundance ended when I was six. My mother got very ill and she suffered from mental illness. Her sickness started when she was practising herbal healing and talking about things to come which all turned into reality. Besides, my eldest brother took her live-in partner to our house and they lived together with us. My mother was not happy about it and she said it was a big disgrace in the family. Her situation worsened when some people laughed and insulted her healing and predictions. Some people called her Dr. Quack but she had already helped many and were being healed but some thought it was the devil’s work. She didn’t understand what she was doing and what was happening to her.
Forty five years have passed but those memories still hunt me. I am trying to forget, but I can’t, because of my deformed nail finger where I am wearing my wedding ring. Every time I look at my fingers especially when I am writing, it is always there, its shape is different to my other fingers, plus the chain of tragedies that only God knows how I cope with. This sad reminder happened while I was playing with my baby sister and I was picking up her toy in the floor when mother stepped on it while she was running without direction. My nail cracked with so much blood and it was so painful but not as painful when I remember my beloved mother. It was in the middle of the night when I was woken up of mother’s shout, I thought it was my parents’ fight. She then left up my baby sister and grabbed my younger brother’s hand then shouted, “come on, let’s go”. I got up and followed my mother and we all jumped in the stairs. It was very dark that we couldn’t see where we were going. My father and my elder brother followed us and my mother kept shouting, “hurry up, they are coming closer and they will kill all of us” pointing somewhere but we couldn’t see anything. We ended in our neighbour and they let us in their house. Immediately, mother ran towards the corner then hid and I could see her very frightened while crying. While observing her, I felt asleep and I didn’t know what was happening until morning. When I woke up, my mother still crying then I saw her smiling, and then I heard her laughing. I asked myself “Why she was crying and laughing?” Her situation became worse, she suffered for a long time and ended her own life. At last she had peace, but we are nine children who were crying and sighing including my father. This is the first chapter of my life, the beginning of the many tragedies and my sufferings. To help release my pain, I am burying these memories in this book.
My eldest sister took the responsibility of my mother but she got married after two years. It was difficult for me taking a responsibility of a mother at the age of under ten. I did the cooking, washing, ironing and other household works. I knew God was holding my hands to do all those works and with His guidance, our family survived. But the sufferings won’t leave me, it is always there following me. In 1975 my father and I myself got ill together at the same time. When we were ill, I kept dreaming many times that my father died. Few weeks before his death, I dreamt that he told me “you are the only one who can heal me”, I answered “how can I heal you, look at me, I am also ill”. During that time I didn’t know about healing, I just knew it in later life that healing is part of my mision. He died in March 1976, leaving me seriously ill. I asked God, “Why did you take away my beloved father? You have already taken away my beloved mother, now what will I do? I am ill, who will look after me, who will care for me? Lord my God, you will be the one in charge, I trust everything to you”.
Before my father’s death, we left our house and lived with my eldest sister together with my two brothers and our youngest sister. We didn’t want to go back there anymore and we totally lose it. Life was so difficult; I was crying everyday, no parents, no money plus my sickness. My sisters and brothers were comforting me and my small nieces were cheering me up. Almost everything we had, was gone except one cow and three carabaos which are very important in our farm. We sold the cow and the money was used for my medication and hospitalization. In January 977, I had undergone surgery and my life has been saved but my nephew died in an accident in the same day. During that year, I dreamt that someone I didn’t know said,“another member of your family will be gone again”. I was very worried with that dream but I have to concentrate with my studies in accountancy and tried to forget it.
In January 1978 that dream turned into reality, another tragedy, my elder brother also died in an accident. He and my other two elder brothers were supporting me and helped pay my tuition fee in the university. After my brother’s death, I applied as a working student in the university but there was no more vacancy. The university’s dean looked at my grades and she found out that I have high ratings. She then asked me if I want to stay with them to help their helper, free board and lodging and she will be the one to pay my tuition fee. Immediately I accepted the offer and was very thankful. It was very difficult, working and at the same time schooling, but I had no choice/option. I tried to deal with the situation that I really wanted to finish my accountancy. I thought that one day when I finish my accountancy; I will find an easy job. I was so inspired and not feeling tired of all the works I was doing. My boss was very kind and she trusted me. She would give me the money and I was the one in charge of our everyday needs. How happy I was about it but that happiness didn’t last long.
In New Year’s Day of 1979, I got ill again. My whole body was aching and I couldn’t get up that day. I suffered for over six months of limping and sometimes I was crawling. I blamed God and asked Him, “Why are you punishing me? I have not done wrong, you have taken away almost my love ones and now I am ill again”. The pain worsened when I remembered the chain of tragedies. I lose hope and what was in my mind is my life is designed of suffering forever. I planned to end my life which I thought is the end of all my sufferings. I attempted suicide for three times but didn’t happen for every time I tried, I would kneel first at the front of my altar then prayed and asked God for forgiveness. As if I could see the tears falling from the crucifix’s eyes and as if I could hear inside my head “don’t do that”. I then would put down the small bottle of pesticide then cried again and again, and asked forgiveness from the Lord.
In my last suicide attempt, I was desperate to do it and inside my head “this time, no one can stop me anymore” while my hands were shaking holding the bottle of pesticide which I was ready to take it in. But when I looked at the crucifix, as if it was moving and could see the tears falling down and as if I heard “don’t do that”. Immediately, I put down the pesticide then cried and cried. I asked forgiveness from the Lord and prayed then begged again and again. It took me almost whole day of crying and begging until I became tired and fell asleep without eating.
In the middle of my deep sleep, someone woke me. When I opened my eyes, I saw Jesus Christ standing close to my feet. He was staring at me and I stared back at him. He then moved closer to my left side close to my hip where the worse pain was. He bent down then touched my hip and rubbed down to my foot, he did it for three times. I could feel it, it was real but I couldn’t move and I heard the rooster crowing and I knew it was dawn time. In a second, he was gone and another crowing of rooster followed. I then was able to move and was fully awake. I got up and lit our lamp but I couldn’t see anybody in the room. I then knelt down at the front of my altar and prayed. When I woke up that morning, I felt lighter but the pain was still there. I forced myself to go out by limping. I gathered some herbal medicine; any kind which I felt could cure my pain. Three days after, I got better and I knew I was walking with God’s power. What a great miracle!
To be continued in the book
In the bible, “The day of the Lord”; Joel 2:28-29, “Afterwards I will pour out my spirit on everyone: your sons and daughters will proclaim my message; your old men will have dreams, and your young men will see visions. At that time I will pour out my spirit even on servants, both men and women”
This book is about dreams and visions and how important they are in our lives. This is my dream diary in which I have written which messages I have received through dreams and visions and almost all of them have already turned into reality. Dreams and visions have guided me, in almost of my entire life. Miracles and blessings have happened to me after I saw the so many angels, the Virgin Mary and God. In this book, there is an explanation in each dream and each vision; when they turned into reality, how they guided me, how they helped other people and some with interpretations.
To be continued in the book.